I'm just back from a trip with my kids visiting my best mate up in North Yorkshire. 

Whilst away I was recounting to my mate how the night before I'd had the strangest dream.

I'd walked through a room in a house, and it was filled with the most beautiful floral scent. Rich, calming, grounding. I stopped, breathed it in, looked around for the source.

There were no flowers.

The scent was so vivid, so real - but it didn't exist. My nervous system experienced it anyway.

When I woke up, I couldn't shake it. I've never dreamt a scent before. So anyway whilst chatting I looked it up.

Turns out, olfactory dreams - dreams where you actually smell something - are documented in only about 1% of dream cases.

Most dreams are visual. Some include sound or touch. But scent? Incredibly rare.

And yet there I was, experiencing a floral scent so vivid it woke me up - in a room with no flowers, in a dream that didn't need them.

When I sat with it, I realised: this is exactly how sensory anchors work.

Your body doesn't need logic. It doesn't need perfection. It just needs the signal. The cue. The anchor that says: it's safe here. You can rest.

The Pressure to Be Your 'Best Self'

I saw a post on Facebook from wonderful local artist and customer Corrina Rothwell that stopped me in my tracks:

"Why do we have to be the best version of ourselves? That seems like pressure."

Yes. Exactly I thought.

The phrase 'best version of yourself' has become the rallying cry of the wellness industry. It's everywhere—on Instagram captions, in self-help books, across New Year's resolution lists. It sounds empowering. Aspirational. Like something we should all be striving for.

But here's what it actually means: you're not enough right now.

There's some idealised version of you out there - thinner, calmer, more productive, more disciplined, more together - and your job is to chase it. Forever.

Where Did This Come From?

The 'best self' narrative exploded in the early 2010s alongside the rise of wellness culture, personal development influencers, and the quantified-self movement. Suddenly, self-improvement wasn't just about reading a book or going to therapy - it was a full-time identity project.

Track your steps. Optimise your morning routine. Biohack your sleep. Meditate for 20 minutes. Journal your gratitude. Drink your greens. Be consistent. Be disciplined. Be better.

The wellness sector worth over £4 trillion globally thrives on this narrative. Because if you're already your best self, what's left to buy? What course do you need? What supplement? What app subscription?

The 'best self' framework is profitable. But it's also exhausting.

It turns self-care into self-optimisation. Rest into productivity. Presence into performance.

And it completely misses the point.

What If the Goal Isn't Transformation?

Here's the truth your nervous system already knows:

You don't need to be your best self. You just need to be regulated.

Not transformed. Not optimised. Not perfected.

Just present. Grounded. Anchored in who you already are.

Self-regulation isn't about becoming someone new. It's about returning to yourself when life pulls you away. When overwhelm takes over. When your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight and you need a way back to calm.

That's not a "best self" project. That's a survival skill.

Invisible Anchors: How Your Nervous System Learns

Back to that dream.

The flowers weren't there, but the scent was real to my body. My nervous system responded as if the source existed because it had learned the cue.

This is how sensory anchors work.

Your nervous system is always scanning for signals: Am I safe? Can I rest? Is this familiar?

When you pair a sensory cue - scent, texture, sound, ritual -with a regulated state, your body learns the association. Over time, the cue alone is enough to shift your state.

The fact that my brain generated a scent in a dream - something that happens in only 1% of documented cases - tells me how deeply my nervous system has integrated scent as a regulation tool. It's not just conscious anymore. It's wired in.

You don't need the flowers. You just need the scent.

You don't need perfection. You just need the anchor.

This Is Why Your Skincare Ritual Matters

At Skin Elixir, we don't talk about anti-ageing or 'glowing skin' as the end goal.

We talk about self-regulation.

Because when you warm the oil between your palms, breathe in the scent of vetiver and sandalwood, and massage it slowly into your skin you're not just nourishing your face.

You're creating an invisible anchor.

A signal to your nervous system that says: pause. breathe. return to yourself.

The ritual becomes the refuge. The scent becomes the cue. What started as skincare becomes a tool for self-regulation you can access anytime.

Not because you're chasing your best self.

But because you're learning to come home to the self you already are.

New Year, Same You - Just More Regulated

This is the foundation of ROOTED.

Not affirmations that tell you who to become but instructions that help you regulate who you already are.

Not transformation. Presence.

Not your best self. Just yourself grounded, anchored, here.

The scent that wasn't there was real because my nervous system made it so.

Your capacity to regulate is real too. You don't need to be better. You just need the tools to return.

ROOTED by Skin Elixir™ launches Thursday January 1st 2026.

10 portable nervous system practices. No fluff, just tools that work.

Add to any skincare order with code ADDROOTED.

Shop ROOTED

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the "best self" narrative and how you're learning to regulate instead of transform.