The ideas person's problem

I'm an ideas person. A social butterfly. Definitely ADHD (undiagnosed, but let's be real).

My brain generates concepts faster than I can execute them. I start projects at 10pm. I have tens of browser tabs open right now. I thrive on novelty and connection and the rush of creating something new.

Sometimes that's a gift. Sometimes it means I create something, step back, and realise it's completely performative rubbish lol!

That's what happened with my affirmation cards.

A year ago or so now, I designed a beautiful set of affirmation cards for Skin Elixir. Soft pink gradients, inspiring quotes about finding inner peace and architecting your own happiness.

"I am finding peace and strength in the power of silence."

"I am the architect of my own happiness and can create a life of purpose and joy."

They looked quite sweet on Instagram. Thing is on reflection they felt completely hollow in real life.

Because here's the thing I guess when you're a single parent running a business, drowning in admin, working a job, trying to remember if you responded to Spond or ParentPay, you don't need someone telling you to "find peace in silence."

You need to know what to DO when the overwhelm hits.

The body keeps the score (and so does mine)

I've been reading Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score—slowly, in stolen moments between batch-making and life admin. It's about trauma, yes, but it's also about something more fundamental: our bodies hold everything we don't process.

The tension in your shoulders from that difficult conversation three days ago.

The shallow breathing from chronic stress you've normalised.

The exhaustion that no amount of sleep seems to fix.

Van der Kolk writes that "trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body."

But here's what struck me: you don't need capital-T Trauma for this to be true. You just need to be human. To be a single parent. To be running a small business in a world that expects you to be "on" all the time.

My body keeps the score at every moment I snapped at my kids (regularly) because I was stretched too thin I call it overwhelm underwhelm.

And pretty affirmations weren't helping me process any of it.

Community has become performative

There's something Brené Brown talks about in her work on vulnerability that's been sitting with me - real connection requires showing up authentically, even when it's uncomfortable.

But somewhere along the way, "community" became performative. Maybe it's all those Facebook stories and cleverly created Instagram reels screaming hey look at my life and just how much I've got my shit together.

We used to have neighbours who'd watch your kids for an hour. Now we have Instagram followers who double-tap your curated highlight reel (or in my case don't even do that haha).

We used to have messy, imperfect gatherings. Now we have perfectly styled flat lays with captions about "self-care Sundays."

The wellness space—my space—has become one of the worst offenders. We post about inner peace while our nervous systems are in constant fight-or-flight. We talk about community while sitting alone behind screens.

I'm guilty of it too. Those original affirmation cards?

Peak performative wellness.

"I am finding peace and strength in the power of silence" sounds profound until you realise it's just... words. Pretty words that don't actually help you regulate your nervous system when you're spiraling.

What I actually need (and what you probably need too)

As an ideas person with ADHD tendencies, I need structure that doesn't feel like a cage.

I need habit stacking—James Clear's concept of attaching new behaviours to existing ones—because my brain won't remember standalone tasks.

I need tools that work when I'm overwhelmed, not aspirational statements about who I should be.

And I need to be real about the fact that overwhelm WILL happen. I'm a single parent running a business. I'm making skincare in small batches, working full time, while trying to be present for my kids. The overwhelm isn't a failure—it's the reality.

So when I sat down to rewrite those affirmation cards, I asked myself: what do I actually reach for when I'm drowning?

Not "I am the architect of my own happiness."

I reach for the 4-7-8 breath. I reach for grounding techniques. I reach for anything that gives my nervous system permission to downshift from panic to presence. And even then I don't always do it so these cards are a massively helpful reminder!

The Biology of Belief meets the reality of stress

Bruce Lipton's The Biology of Belief argues that our thoughts and beliefs can literally change our biology—that we're not victims of our genes, but active participants in our health.

I believe that. I've seen it in my own life and in the way stress shows up on my skin, in my energy, in my capacity to show up for my kids.

But here's where the wellness industry gets it wrong: positive thinking alone doesn't change your biology. Action does.

You can't think your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. You have to give your body something to DO.

That's why I rewrote the cards.

Old card: "I am finding peace and strength in the power of silence."

New card: "Set a timer for 5 minutes. No phone, no noise, no tasks. Just sit with yourself. Notice what comes up—thoughts, feelings, resistance. Let them pass like clouds. Silence isn't empty, it's where you hear yourself again."

One is a belief statement. The other is an instruction.

One asks you to embody something you might not feel. The other gives you a practice that might actually help you get there.

What I made instead: ROOTED Self-Regulation Cards

Instead of affirmations, I created 10 evidence-based self-regulation techniques—actual instructions for what to DO when your nervous system needs support.

Not "I am finding peace."

But "Here's how to activate your parasympathetic nervous system in 60 seconds."

The cards include practices rooted in neuroscience, somatic therapy, and mindfulness research. Techniques used by therapists, trauma specialists, and nervous system experts. Things like breathwork for calm, grounding techniques for presence, and body-based tools for releasing tension.

Each card gives you something actionable. Something you can do right now, in this moment, when you're overwhelmed.

They're designed to pair with your skincare rituals—draw a card, practice the technique for a minute or two, then apply your products mindfully. The botanical aromatherapy becomes an anchor for the regulation practice. The ritual becomes more than skincare—it becomes self-regulation.

The science behind self-regulation

Self-regulation isn't about controlling your emotions or forcing yourself to "be positive." It's about giving your nervous system what it needs to move from dysregulation (fight/flight/freeze) back to regulation (rest/digest/connect).

The techniques on the ROOTED cards are evidence-based practices used by therapists, neuroscientists, and trauma specialists.

They work because they engage your body, not just your mind. They give your nervous system concrete signals that it's safe to relax, safe to be present, safe to let go.

And unlike affirmations, they don't require you to believe anything. You just follow the instructions. Your body does the rest.

Why "ROOTED"?

ROOTED stands for:

• Regulation – Calming your nervous system
• Observation – Tuning into your body's signals
• Openness – Creating space without judgment
• Transformation – Witnessing visible shifts
• Embodiment – Connecting with your body
• Devotion – Committing to yourself, daily

These aren't just cards. They're a toolkit for coming home to yourself.

How to use the ROOTED cards

Morning ritual: Draw a card before your skincare routine. Practice the technique for 1-2 minutes, then apply your products with intention. The scent becomes an anchor for calm.

Evening ritual: Draw a card as part of your wind-down. Practice while your night oil or cream absorbs. Let the aromatherapy enhance the calming effect.

Anytime you need support: Feeling overwhelmed? Draw a card. Follow the instructions. Use your favorite Skin Elixir product on your hands or pulse points as part of the anchoring practice.

For wellness teachers, classroom teachers, and parents: Use the cards with your students or children. Teach them practical tools for self-regulation that they can use for life.

Coming home to the true purpose of Skin Elixir

As someone with ADHD tendencies, this whole new direction with Skin Elixir has made me feel oddly calm and contented—like I've come home to the true purpose of what this brand was always meant to be.

Not just skincare, but self-regulation.

Not just products, but tools for nervous system care.

Not just beauty, but embodiment.

And that feels right. That feels like the work I'm meant to be doing in the world.

The affirmation cards were pretty, but they weren't helpful. The ROOTED cards are helpful. And in a world that's increasingly overwhelming, helpful matters more than Instagrammable.

Get your ROOTED cards

From 17 December 2025: Receive one free ROOTED card with every Skin Elixir order. Collect all 10 over time, or purchase the complete set.

Coming soon: ROOTED Teacher's Toolkit with classroom-ready resources for wellness teachers and educators teaching self-regulation to children and teens.

These cards are for anyone who's tired of performative wellness and ready for practical tools. For single parents, small business owners, wellness teachers, classroom teachers, and anyone navigating the beautiful chaos of being human.

Welcome home. 🌿

Shona x