Believing in Me - again!
Today I noticed - and celebrated - a tangible shift in my thought processes. So I bought a dress today to mark the milestone. A milestone, a line in the sand, a flag in the ocean of this messy, non-linear healing business. I have started to believe in myself again. Let me tell you about the dress first - and then I’ll introduce you to my friend and explain a little bit about the guided meditation that transformed my negative thought cycles.
It is white and baby blue, fifties style dress; the kind with a wide skirt that the wind catches and billows out. It’s a happy dress. Today I am celebrating the idea that my wasteland is really fallow earth and although the ground is bare and cracked and all the trees have been scorched to the ground; I can see - I can feel - my heart tells me, the earth is only resting. My fear and negative thoughts feel empty.
It is a dress that delights in itself. In laughter. Warm faces and cold wine. It's a barefoot around the garden dress. A song while you cook dress. It has tiny silver threads woven in horizontal lines, shooting through the zig-zags of white and baby blue. And these silver threads, they catch the light, will always want to catch the light, like laughter in eyes.
Now, meet my dear friend and Intuitive Guide, Tracy Ward. In a Reiki energy healing session she guided me through a meditation wherein I met my future self. The joy on my future self’s face when seeing me brings me to tears now as I recreate the image and feeling to write this blog. To be able to trust in yourself, your future, your self after the trauma of a cancer diagnosis - or any other life changing experience - is the elixir we are all searching for, even if we don’t know it. Tracy’s guided meditation enabled my own heart/mind/soul to create a version of myself in the future and my imagination blessed this vision with smiles and a carefree self assuredness. The image and feelings conjured by this are mine to go back to and rest my heart on whenever I need. When I have doubts creeping in and the spiral of anxiety I thought was mine to keep now, I stop and think about the future-me that we created together - Tracy’s words and my imagination.
And I slow down - and do you know what? I smile. And I think, ‘Yes, you do have a lot to smile about. I believe in you.’ I can see myself happy and relaxed. I can see myself smiling and feeling deeply comforted. And I believe if you can see something, you have done the hard work , it’s yours now - it’s real. You can see why I needed a dress to mark this tidal change! A dress and a huge terracotta pot of hellebores. I wanted to share this with you today as Tracy is holding a one-off online healing retreat on August fourth online. It’s called Cultivate, an energy medicine event to cultivate lightness in your cells and soul. I can’t recommend her highly enough. You deserve it.
Have a love-filled day, Katie x
P.S I am is a complete sentence.
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